05/05/2006 Episode 5: This isn't goodbye, it's hello….
Our intrepid reporter catches up with Will after the sad loss of Will and Alex from the castle. Pete Gresham is your man talking to Will Goodhand ….
Will, I thought you were going all the way, mate…
Well, cheers for your faith Pete. What can you do? I'm really happy we managed to stay in the castle for as long as we did. I think both Alex and I had thought to ourselves before we started that it would be great to make it into episode 4, and hey, we got to 5!
Yeah, but doesn't that make it all the more galling to go and miss out on winning £20,000?
Well, you know, the cash would have been nice! But we had a terrific experience, the best experience of my life!
So, talk us through it then….where did it all go wrong?!
Cutting to the chase as ever Pete! Well, as before, I don't think we were particularly afraid of the challenge when we heard there was going to be lots of running around outside. I think we saw it as just that – a challenge. The first thing we had to do was packing enough stuff to last overnight. I can't tell you how surprised I was when I saw the show on the tele and realised that Alex and I had actually managed to be the fastest couple to pack up our things!!! It felt like we were taking ages, taking time to powder our noses practically!
 Whisky, Will!.......I saw you at that party in episode 2. You remember the one, where Hayley did a lapdance for you, and then you put some moves on Elissa in the jacuzzi? I seem to remember you'd had a couple that night - why on earth, when asked to transport whisky to the finish, did you not neck it?
Well, Pete, it's very easy with the benefit of hindsight. I think we would have been afraid of breaking the rules. What if they'd wanted to see a glass of the whisky at the end? What would I have done then? I've told you, I'm an arty geek, not a science-y geek – there's no way on earth I'd have been able to separate the whisky out again at the other end!
Didn't you mix the whisky with hair conditioner? That's not a recognised way of drinking it that I've heard of!
Pete, we were under pressure. In retrospect, I should never have tried to put a funnel around the neck of the bottle using a Femi-Wipe, whatever that may be. That cost us valuable time. If we'd just been bold and got a good angle on the whisky we could just have tipped it in.
Chicken, fox, corn. You were the only ones who did it the simple way, weren't you?
Yes, to my absolute surprise. I don't think particularly that it was us being smart and trying to do things the simplest way possible. I just think that we thought the idea of rowing across the lake and having to row back again was so hard, that there couldn't have been any other complicating factors involved! I must say, though, watching the programme with Ed and Sam in the boat – it was so sweet, her in her little white anorak, like Rowing Miss Daisy.
Will, did you actually do any rowing?
I wasn't being lazy, Pete, honest. It's just Alex seemed to be comfortable doing it! And she was good at it. I didn't want any sense of good old fashioned chivalry ruining our chances of winning the competition.
Then what was it? Oh yes, you stripped naked in order to commune with nature! Does being naked help you get a better grip when you're climbing a tree?
Pete, I have to keep explaining to people that I took my clothes off for a very simple reason….
Will, you're sounding like a real Tory Boy politician….
[ Puts on politician voice ] Well, Pete, if you'll just let me answer the question…
Yes, Minister…
Look, we had to get hold of one of the mobile phones and make it ring. Now, one of them was up the tree. Because we had so much adrenaline pumping I think we stopped thinking a bit – they talk about this kind of thing, about your focus narrowing down, so you can't look at things so broadly. So, for some odd reason, in the panic, we dismissed the idea of getting the phone from up the tree despite it being just above us, and I decided instead it would be better to risk the icy white water rapids to fetch the phone from the river. That's why I whipped my clothes off. Then I thought better of it, and realised we should go for the tree option. Alex insisted I put my trousers back on at least before we did anything else.
Embarrassing it may have been, Will, but rousing too! I loved the China in Your Hands backing to this action….
So did I Pete, it was great! I think it's probably what was playing in my head at the time anyway!
Then, what was it? Getting the key out of the block of ice….
Yes, indeed. That took us fourteen minutes to do. I really thought we were doing well. We built a great fire, and I felt a real man melting the block of ice over it. I had no idea Ed and Sam were going to complete the task in one minute by lobbing the ice at the ground! There's the value of basic common sense isn't it? Never mind all this mulling it over – she cut straight to the chase!
Is that where you would say you lost the competition?
Well, yes, but we didn't think of throwing the ice, but even if we had done, I think we'd have been nervous of breaking the rules so we might not have done it. That was the beauty of Sam – in the end it wasn't breaking the rules anyway, but it was that attitude of ‘this is obviously the sensible answer and if the rules forbid it then they're stupid rules'. A very refreshing attitude, and one with a lot going for it, especially in today's follow-the-stupid-rules corporate culture!
So where do you think you lost it?
We should have got the flipping phone out the tree using the shovel to knock it down. Why, oh why, did we not just do that first off? That was the thing we could have thought of: we could have been certain that we could do it within the rules, and instead I was thinking about having a dip in the waterfall. Idiot.
Could you have made up any time running between tasks?
I kept saying to Alex ‘keep pushing because we might lose by 30 seconds'. Well, in the end we lost by one minute and thirty seconds. If Alex had worn different shoes we might just have done it. But if I'd brought a different brain with me there are plenty of ways we could have made up that time!!!
So, you went through to the elimination, talk us through your thoughts…
Well, I always knew we would sink if we got into the elimination. I knew it. That's why we were working so hard to keep out of it! Hacking I got, and well, you know I got Donna Karan New York right!
Yes, I enjoyed that when you shouted it out…
I thought I'd keep people in suspense a bit….just so they thought I didn't know. Then, I gave it to them – big style! There was a little bit of what I've talked about before too…just that pent up adrenaline and you have to let it out – the roar of the lion!
Crikey Will! Easy now…speaking of big cats…what was that band's name again?
Oh dear oh dear. I knew the song Dontcha – that was the frustrating thing. You can see me singing it to myself in the show, desperately praying for the name of the band to pop into my head. But I knew I didn't know it. I think Alex and I had even talked about the song, but never never had I heard of the band – what a geek!
Alex got one wrong too, though, didn't she?
Yes, and she beats herself up about it to this day. But really, the answer to her one was some guy in literature called Mr Rochester. It's not like not getting the Pussycat Dolls. Grrrrrr. Silly me.
And how did you feel as you left the castle?
Well, pretty contented to be honest, Pete. It had been a truly wonderful experience, and I was looking forward to seeing Elissa on the outside. And for sure it would have been nice to be heading off with 20 grand in my back pocket, but really, I was not that disappointed. It was lovely. Like I said on the tele, to be in that environment and to feel loved by those people, and to feel happy to be yourself, what more could you ask for?
Thanks very much, Will. We'll catch up with you next week to find out about life outside the castle. I know I'm dying to find out what happened next with Elissa!!!...... |
