Do not adjust your set!

Politically no pinko, I make an exception when I find two particularly retina-searing incompatible shades of fuscia.

Shirt by Ben Sherman, jumper by the very respectable House of Fraser Linea range if anyone’s interested.

"I bet you I can strip the baize from this pool table and wear it in the form of a lightweight V-necked jumper!"

They’re not laughing now. Currently sitting outside the Goodhand jumper rotation system due to being handwash only. Expect to see this only if I can make it back to see my parents for a ‘lunch and laundry’ session.

The closest I’ve ever got to wearing a corset. This dazzling midnight-blue number clings to my tummy like Charles Kennedy to a bottle of Famous Grouse. The item of clothing most likely to elicit the remark:

“You wouldn’t think fitted clothes would be a good idea if you’re carrying a bit of extra weight but that really looks good.” Subtext: ‘I can still see your gut’.

Discontinued:

This Daniel Hechter pink number was a mainstay of the Buffoon Wardrobe through The Wilderness Years (June 2000 – May 2002). Now quietly sidelined, non-specifically for being a bit see-through, and specifically for prompting the following remark from managing partner, KSBR Brand Futures, John Scott:

“Are you wearing a black vest under that, or is that your body hair?”